


I'm not gay!!!

by LadyoftheCity



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Arthur's POV, Attempt at Humor, Attempt at angst, Explicit Sexual Content, First Time, M/M, Modern Era, Slash, Some OOCness, nerdy!merlin, prattish!Arthur, tipsy sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-31
Updated: 2016-07-31
Packaged: 2018-07-28 10:27:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 14,191
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7636594
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyoftheCity/pseuds/LadyoftheCity
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>modern AU. Arthur is completely straight. Then, why does that nerd always look at him like that in class? And why does it affect him so much? All he needs is a night out and everything will solve itself... Or not? nerdy!merlin/prattish!Arthur. Slash.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Out to forget... or not?

Arthur was deemed to be the average perfect guy. A rich good family, good looks, good at playing sports, good marks... Anyway, everything was good about him, except for one thing. His love life. Through all the years he spent in high school and now at university he had met many beautiful girls and even dated some of them. Not many had meant a lot to him, but some had made an impression on him, such as sweet Gwen, clumsy Elena or determined Mithian. There had also been bitches that only wanted him for his name and money like Sophia and Vivian and even some mature smart women that looked down at him as their plaything, like Nimueh.

However, now a twenty-two-years-old Arthur, on the brink of finishing his degree on business and starting his first serious job in his father's company, was at a loss as to what to do. He had been without a girlfriend for far too long. It must be that, surely, because it was impossible for him to be looking back at that nerdy guy sitting on the first row of his Maths lessons, the same freak that had been sending him shy flirting glances since the second semester started some months ago.

Really, Arthur wasn't gay. Not in the least. He was the epitome of masculinity. He had gone out with lots of girls. He had had lots of relationships. He liked chicks. A lot. But he could feel those beautiful blue eyes glued to him every time he went to that class. Wait a sec... Had he thought the guy had beautiful eyes? No, definitely it had to be because he had gone far too long without a pretty girl in his arms. He would do something to remedy that and then he would be able to forget about those eyes, and those soft pink lips, and those incredible marked cheekbones and that smooth pale skin... Okay, he needed a night out. Quickly. So, the best option: calling Gwaine.

He had known the guy since his first day at uni. He had already known some of his mates at the time, like Leon, his best friend since childhood, and Lance and Percy who he met at high school. But Gwaine was a true revelation. He didn't know someone could drink so much and still be able to stand on their feet. So that was it. Gwaine. A crazy night out in a crowded club with lots of alcohol and some slutty chicks and in the next Maths lesson he wouldn't even deem fit to stare back at the lanky guy at all because he would have had the night of his life with, until the moment, an unknown lucky lady.

However, the plan backfired. Obviously. After all it involved Gwaine. He had really thought it would be as simple as meeting Gwaine, going to the disco, getting plastered, flirting like hell and going home some hours later with someone worthy of his attentions for that night. He didn't expect (even in his most delirious nightmares) to find Gwaine waiting for him with the same nerd he was trying to forget. What on earth was the guy doing there? How did he know Gwaine? (Well, scratch that, everybody knows Gwaine). But, really, how could he be so luckless?

The guy even seemed as he had never gone out at all because no one in their right mind would wear that to go clubbing on a Saturday night (not if they don't want to be beaten up by some tugs who really love to torture nerds). He was wearing a pair of black shoes, light brown trousers and a blue gingham shirt (was that a tie?) with a nerdy sweater vest to match. His hair was meticulously combed and he sported his big black glasses that were his trademark along with his goofy smile. The perfect image of the average freak. Exactly the opposite of Arthur and Gwaine that with their perfect toned bodies and casual clothes (the usual fit jeans, fashionable t-shirts and leather jackets) looked as if they were going to be the centre of attention of all the female attendance of the night. Well, and now of the geeky boy too.

Arthur sighed because he didn't have anything better to do and walked towards the pair. They were waiting for him outside the small cosy pub where he had planned to meet Gwaine in order to have some drinks and warm up before going to a near big club where the real action awaited for them. As he approached them he could distinguish Gwaine's loud voice as he was telling one of his humorous stories (he had far too many of those) while the other guy was simply looking at him bashfully with a big smile as he usually did in class. What was he getting himself into...? He really should turn around now that he had the opportunity.

But being the obstinate arsehole his half-sister Morgana sometimes called him, Arthur decided to go on with his night out and ignore the other guy and his dangerous glances. He wanted to have sex that night and he was going to get it. He was a Pendragon after all. He always got what he wanted. And had he mentioned the sex was going to be with a girl? Well, nothing of strange thoughts with the geek. He was not at all into that kind of things, however cute and interesting the other guy looked. Not even if he looked at him like that. There was no way.

So, Arthur's night started. Gwaine gave him a friendly pat on the back and introduced the nerd: Merlin. Merlin?! Really, even the name was... strange. He had to shake his hand. Just out of courtesy (not hidden interest in there). And it was soft and nice.... He broke away immediately, courtesy be damned. He ignored Gwaine's chatter about how he had met the guy some weeks ago in a lecture and suggested entering the pub already. He didn't fancy having some small talk with the geeky... Merlin. He would have to get used to call him that (but just on his mind, he wasn't planning on talking to him too much).

They sat at the back of the pub in a small table with some high stools around it. He should have been quicker. Gwaine suggested buying the first round of beers and he was gone in no time and Arthur was left alone with the freak... Merlin. He tried not to look back at him. He really tried. But the idiot was still smiling as if it were the best day of his life just for being there with Arthur. So better to say something and finish the awkward atmosphere. Perhaps he could discourage the guy gently before Gwaine returned with their drinks. And he had time since Gwaine had already started to flirt with the pretty ginger waitress. That guy really didn't lose time. It should have been him the one to go for the drinks... Now he would be the one flirting and not having a strange conversation with a geeky gay that probably had had a crush on him for the last months. So there he went.

Arthur cleared his throat and began talking. 'So... Merlin, is it?”

“Yeah,” the guy answered with a slight deep voice. Arthur liked it... No, it was just a voice.

“I remember you from Maths lessons,” Arthur said not so subtly. Merlin's smile grew bigger. Bad choice of a comment. It had been in those lessons where the strange stares started. What was he thinking to say that... really. “They are very interesting. Professor Killian is very good at it.” A lame attempt to correct himself.

“Yeah,” Merlin repeated. He seemed really shy. “Mmm... I've known him for some years... He's an expert in the field.” Wow, the boy was gathering some courage. Better to change the topic of conversation before he started to speak about Maths or another boring subject like that. He was a nerd after all and Arthur's purpose was dissuading the boy (that and finding a pretty girl for the night, keep that in mind).

“But I've never seen you in a pub or a disco before,” Arthur continued. There, that subject was better.

“No... I don't usually go out... too much,” Merlin commented. “It's difficult when studying and working at the same time.”

Arthur hadn't imagined that. He thought Merlin would be a complete geek totally immersed in his dull life studying all day. That, however, was... interesting.

“Where do you work?” he asked without thinking. Too late he realised he was encouraging the idiot.

“In a book shop,” Merlin replied with another flirting glance. “It's my uncle's... But I like reading a lot. All kind of books... and the wages are good.”

Really, Arthur, where did you expect him to work? In a night club as a hot boy dancer (he would like to see that... No, of course, not like that!). Arthur suppressed a snort and tried to find Gwaine looking out of the corner of his eye. It seemed he was finishing his flirting session with the red-haired waitress. He really needed to make his point clear. Soon.

“Oh, I would rather work in another kind of place. Like a pub. That way you can meet pretty ladies all the time.” That was it. He had said it. Then, why did the little frown above those cute glasses make him feel so bad? Thanks God, Gwaine appeared then with three beers and a big smile.

“C'mon, guys, tonight is promising,” he stated as he sat down with them and handed them their respective beer. “So far I already have the phone number of a pretty ginger. I still need to met a brunette and a blondie.” And he winked for good measure.

Merlin, on the other hand, seemed to be a bit down. Well, it wasn't strange after Arthur's last comment. No doubt the boy would be thinking he liked a total manwhore. However, Arthur didn't expect him to desist. Well, he had wanted it before, but so early?

“I think I'm going home,” Merlin said moving away from him the untouched beer. “This isn't for me...” And he made to stand up, but Gwaine didn't let him.

“C'mon, mate. The night is still young. There aren't only chicks out there. I'm sure we will be able to find you a hot bloke in no time.”

There. Arthur's worse fears confirmed. Merlin was really truly gay. And after his reaction to Arthur's comment, it was more than clear that he had the hots for him. He was so absorbed in considering the verification of his so terrifying assumption that he didn't listen to Gwaine properly until he punched him in the arm.

“Hey, Arthur,” Gwaine was saying, “help me to convince little Merlin here.”

Gwaine expectant gaze was fixed on him. Why the hell did he have to be so nice to everyone? Merlin, nevertheless, wasn't looking at him at all. That could be the solution to his 'cute nerdy gay boy looks at me too much (and I completely deny I like it)' problem. He could say 'let him be' or 'he's right, this isn't his place'. But for some strange reason he couldn't. Perhaps it was him being nice too or he just didn't want Merlin to go and abandon his shy flirting, but what he said was, “Gwaine's right. There's still time. You should stay and see.”

Why? Why did he say that? Merlin's hopeful eyes were fixed on him once more and he bit his lower lip slightly before grinning at him like a fool. Now, Arthur had given him hope again and worse – he had started to find Merlin's gestures so so soooo sexy. Arthur was doomed.

“Alright,” the boy conceded. “I'll stay. Thank you, Arthur.” And a shiver ran down his spine. He was more than sexy. Who could think a geeky guy could be his type. He liked girls, but there were girls in the pub, lots of them, and since he had entered he had only looked at Merlin. He had only thought of him. What was happening to him? What of his plans of getting laid with a hot chick that night? No. No. He had to be firm and stick to that and everything would be alright. He had to forget about the moron in front of him. That was the whole point in going out.

He hardly noticed when Gwaine half-hugged Merlin and swore that it was going to be a great night. Arthur tried to divert his attention from them as Gwaine started again his ramblings and the geek seemed to be listening to him carefully. In an attempt to distract himself he scanned the pub quickly looking for anyone who might be a good prey for the night, but his traitorous eyes kept turning back to Merlin's sweet face, back to those amazing blue eyes that behind those nerdy glasses still sent him bashful flirty glances now and then while he chatted with Gwaine.

That was no good. When he finished off the remainder beer in one gulp, he played with the bottle in his hands to avoid eye contact with the nerd again. His gaze tried to wander to other places and he noticed Gwaine had also finished his beer (obviously) and the nerd... Well... He had the bottle still almost full but Arthur was sure it wouldn't be a problem for Gwaine to gulp down another extra one. So, he decided the best would be to make a quick escape, at least for a few minutes, and on his way take a better look at the prospects for the night. He muttered a practically inaudible 'next round's on me' and left them to their conversation as he directed his steps to the bar.

He had hoped to be able to flirt a little with the pretty red-headed waitress too. After all she must be an easy one if she had accepted Gwaine's advances and that would have helped him with forgetting about the situation he was in, but his luck that night was clearly playing tricks on him because when he arrived at the bar the hot waitress was nowhere to be seen and in her place was a... tall muscly blonde guy. Undoubtedly, any woman would find him more than attractive but, of course, not Arthur, whose experience in finding guys interesting was limited to the geeky cute boy back with Gwaine (and he shouldn't even have to be considering that!).

As his flirting intentions were frustrated, Arthur decided to compensate them with a round of three whiskey shots just for him before he had to return to his personal hell. With no slutty girls on his way (for the moment), his only way to bear being near that idiot till they reach the disco was providing a potent distraction to his mind, that is, more alcohol. The waiter looked at him with confusion as he drank up the three shots so quickly that they barely touched his throat and immediately after that, he ordered three more beers. He must have thought Arthur was a complete drunkard but he ignored the strange looks he sent him and paid before going back to their table with the beers.

He was received with matching grins by his mates for the night, although he was sure Gwaine's wasn't a flirting one (and if that was the case, the object of his affections would be the beer, not him). It wasn't until he left the bottles on the table and sat down again that he noticed his mistake. Fuck. What had he done? He was supposed to go to the bar to check the girls and make plans for what he wanted for the night but with the stupid distraction of no finding the ginger waitress he had completely forgotten about it, and worse: he had not only not looked at any girl, but he had also compared his nerdy stalker to an average handsome man (for any girl, of course) and he had found the moron more interesting. For the nth time Arthur wondered what the heck he was doing. That wasn't like him at all. He sighed inwardly and comforted himself with the fact that at least now his mind must be more addled with the alcohol effects and it would be more bearable to be there.

As he started to commiserate himself once more for the disastrous night out, he couldn't avoid not listening to his companions' conversation as they drank. He wasn't participating in it, but Merlin's voice captured his attention completely. They were talking about books. Who would think Gwaine could talk about that too? But, Gods, they were so engrossed in a discussion about which was the best fantasy book they had ever read that Gwaine didn't seem to notice it when he finished his second beer and even ignored Merlin's second one that was still untouched in the centre of the table. Arthur never thought he would see the day when Gwaine would forget about alcohol (and it wasn't even for a pretty girl).

Arthur groaned inwardly once more. He was witnessing a true nerdy conversation in his night out. He was supposed to be enjoying himself and forgetting a certain someone, not there listening to that same someone talking about an absurd subject while he tried to flirt with him with shy glances and smiles here and there. That was it. He couldn't stand it any more. He finished his second beer too and left the empty bottle loudly on the table to get their attention before suggesting, “Better to be going now, don't you think?”

Both of them looked at him with matching frowns. “What's the matter with you, mate?” Gwaine asked surprised. “It's still soon. We have plenty of time. Just stop pouting and give us your opinion about-”

“No,” Merlin intervened doubtfully. “Arthur's right. We should be going now...” And the idiot sent him a supporting smile with those plush lips... Gwaine decided to concede just in that moment with a confused 'alright' and reached for the full bottle still on the table, brushing Arthur a little in the process. Luckily, that put a stop to Arthur's staring, bringing him back from his stupid trance and preventing his mind from wandering towards dangerous thoughts such as how those lips would feel against his. Hell, what was he thinking again? Wasn't all the alcohol he had already ingested supposed to help him with that?

Gwaine wolfed down his third beer in one go (of course he hadn't forgotten about Merlin's untouched beer, how could Arthur have ever thought that, it was Gwaine after all) and they made their way to the exit. Arthur tried to clear his mind of any 'disturbing' ideas. That's what he told himself, that he being with another guy should be totally gross. But with Merlin... No. Not again. He was not going to dwell on that again.

When they reached the fresh air of the cool night, Arthur sighed and avoided looking at Merlin at all costs. The short walk to the disco would make him good and in no time he would be in a room full of luscious girls he could have his pick of. Just a little bit longer and he would be able to lose the geek among the crowd and concentrate on having a good time with someone else. Preferably someone without big innocent blue eyes, jet-black hair, adorable dorky ears and pale smooth skin that had the ability to confuse him without limits and turn his life upside down.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!


	2. The worst (or best) decision ever

Arthur walked a couple of steps in front of the others and this time he really didn't listen to their conversation, although he could make out some words and could easily pick out they were talking about his unusual behaviour. Instead, he tried to think of a tactic for when they arrived at the night club. As the others were merely following him, Arthur was the one to decide the place and so he did. He was taking them to a big distinguished disco known because of all the 'pretty ladies' that used to attend. 

That made him smile since it meant more possibilities for him and less for Merlin. He would be able to have his pick of suitable partners for the night while Merlin would have to resign himself to a solitary night since Gwaine and he would possibly disappear with a willing girl as soon as they could and there would be no 'hot guy' for poor Merlin in there. Arthur's smirk grew bigger until he realised he almost sounded as if he didn't want anyone near his geeky stalker. 'His'? His smug grin turned into a frown. Three shots, two beers, a walk in the fresh air and his mind hadn't been able to stop thinking about that unwelcome idiot yet. At least, Arthur hoped that was going to change in no time. Soon, they stood in front of the main entrance to an impressive white castle, the so called 'Camelot' night club. 

“Wow,” Merlin breathed as he watched the castle with something akin awe in his big round eyes. 

Gwaine chuckled and asked nonchalantly, “You've never come here, have you?”

Merlin looked at him timidly, “Mmm... No. I've just seen it once or twice, but it wasn't at night and all those lights weren't lit.”

Arthur looked at the boy unimpressed, but he didn't comment anything because, yeah, Merlin was that much of a freak that he hadn't even been to the most famous disco in the city as any other normal student of their age (not that Arthur would expect any different). For his part, Gwaine didn't lose time and started explaining the inexperienced boy all about the club being called like that due to king Arthur's mythical city, Camelot, and how inside the big castle there were different halls where different kinds of music were played and even V.I.P. areas for celebrities, which took him to recount some of his anecdotes of when he got to sneak in and captured the heart of more than a famous lady. The long queue they had to endure before entering the club itself gave Gwaine time enough for more than a risqué story to which Merlin blushed prettily. Of course, Arthur didn't noticed the soft pink colour on those gorgeous cheekbones since he was to occupied getting impatient with the long queue and feigning not to be looking at that infuriating idiot.

Half and hour later, some pounds less in their wallets and too many stupid stories from Gwaine and the bouncer finally let them in the club. They chose one of the bigger halls where well-known disco songs were played. Obviously, as soon as they entered the room, Gwaine went straight to the bar, the 3 beers he had already had clearly not enough for him. Merlin and Arthur followed him without question. Arthur let Gwaine decide what they were going to drink and opted for scanning his surroundings in order to find someone that would fit his tastes. Now, it was the time to go into action. 

He noticed two or three interesting chicks dancing near him as if they really wanted to do something more than that. It was a promising start. Gwaine shoved in his hands a glass of something he preferred not to know what it was and he drank it gladly. Not so Merlin who wanted to drink only juices since he affirmed he was not good at drinking alcohol. Of course, he didn't succeed at convincing Gwaine of it as he ended with a cup of the same disgusting strong thing that Arthur was currently drinking in his hand too. 

They gulped down their first round at the club rather quickly in favour of hitting the floor full of dancing girls sooner. At least, that was what Gwaine and he did, because Merlin was incapable of drinking more than a sip each time he put the glass to his lips. Anyway, Arthur also suspected that the freak would be totally incapable of dancing at all. So, they left Merlin beside the bar with a cup in his hand and started to dance near him in an attempt to catch the ladies' attention. That was something Gwaine and him were experts at. 

From that point, the night started to get better and better. His first dance with Gwaine was soon left behind as he found more interesting company. He danced with a group of girls here, a sensual blonde there and in between he went to the bar a couple of times to get more drinks. Gwaine and he were definitely having a very good time (Gwaine wasn't going to deny it when he had a cup in a hand and a cute brunette in the other). 

Nevertheless, something inside Arthur stirred and made him feel bad every time he went back to the bar and saw Merlin there alone, the same glass half full in his hand and a sad look on his face. Not even Gwaine's funny comments and attempts to make him drink something else or dance with them had been able to make him leave the bar and join them and the girls on the floor. The boy kept saying he didn't tolerate alcohol well and he was too clumsy and uncoordinated to dance. After refusing so many times even an inebriated Gwaine had desisted in order to have fun himself. And, well, Arthur wasn't going to do anything to change that.

So Arthur kept drinking and dancing. And no, he didn't look back at the solitary nerd... but, crap, he did. And he couldn't bear it. Why was the geek looking at him with those puppy dog eyes? That made him want to throw away the stupid chick in his arms and run towards the boy to hug him instead. Arthur groaned as his traitorous intoxicated mind kept forcing him to look back at the idiot. And why did all the obscene amount of alcohol he had had not help at all? Oh, yeah, everybody says it: alcohol isn't the solution to anything and Arthur had the feeling that meaningless sex with a stranger wouldn't solve his problem either. He had been kidding himself thinking that he was going to force Merlin out of his head by getting intimate with a girl. After all, he had been trying to do so since they had entered the club and there he was, his eyes unable to let the nerd alone. No, that wasn't the solution.

All the week making plans for this. All the night waiting for this moment. And now that he had a willing pretty girl in his arms he hadn't looked at her face at all. He couldn't tell anyone how she looked like because his mind was simply full of his idiot stalker. Yeah, it was time to admit it and try to face it, he could tell as much even in his fuzzy state. The decision made, he mumbled some stupid excuse and extricated himself from the girl's grasp. Then he directed his steps towards the bar where he was sure the nerd would be still waiting miserably. The moment he turned around, he realised how wrong he had been. 

The geek was still there, that much was clear, but he wasn't alone any more. There was a rather creepy man with him. A tall well-built dark-haired handsome man who was offering Merlin another cup and the idiot... he just accepted it! But if he had said himself that he wasn't good at drinking, that he could feel light-headed with just a beer (yep, he had paid attention to what the nerd had said). Anyway, it was probably just that he was too nice to turn down a stranger. That must be it... And what the hell was that? That guy was patting him like a friend. And worst, his hand rested there for some seconds before it went down down... down to Merlin's arse! How did he dare lay his filthy hands on his personal stalker?

A shove made Arthur realise he was standing alone in the middle of the floor observing Merlin and his new admirer like a total idiot. That made him react. It would have to be him touching Merlin and he was sure that then the moron would be happier about it, although he didn't seem that unhappy with his present company. Well, Arthur supposed that was to be expected after Gwaine and he had ditched the poor geek and left him all on his own near the bar with a simple cocktail because he was such a nerd that he didn't know how to drink or dance. 

Anyway, that was not the point at all. The fact was that instead of paying attention only to him like during all night, Merlin was starting to consider to change his mind and go for a total stranger (well that had been his intention at first too, but he wasn't going to reproach himself). Perhaps it was truly time to change strategics. He had already realised he didn't need a total stranger. But now he could see clearly that what he needed was the geek himself to prove that he wasn't able to spend a night with another guy, not even Merlin. And in the case that he was really capable of such a thing, well, then he would have already done it and it wouldn't bother him anymore (surely). 

In fact, Gwaine had told him in secret (of course, most people knew it too) that he once was so sloshed that he went home with a guy and they kissed and even got to give each other a handjob. However, Gwaine was a downright womanizer as demonstrated the fact that he was currently pushing his tongue down the throat of a brunette that seemed to be happy (or drunk) enough to go with it. Moreover, Gwiane wasn't the only one that had experimented with his sexuality during his university years. And that made Arthur reassure himself of his decision. He was going to take Merlin for himself. That same night, before he could chicken out. 

Now that Arthur had his great plan to supposedly end his problem, he forced himself not to think about the possibility of being jealous of the muscly brunet that was trying to steal his adorable nerd from him and started to walk towards them with a determined look on his face, ready to tell his opponent to fuck off. After all, he thought it was going to be easy to win Merlin back when the boy had been trying to flirt with him for several weeks now and seemed more than ready to please him. So, there he went... And they didn't notice him! He had shout a loud 'hey' to win their attention since the man was too busy planting his paws all over Merlin and the idiot was too occupied trying to contain him a little at least for the moment. Really, the man seemed a real octopus.

“Merlin,” Arthur interrupted with a smile. “It's late and I fear Gwaine is in no condition to take you home, so I'll accompany you.” Merlin's beautiful eyes rested on him for a glorious moment before they returned to the other guy. Merlin really looked as if he didn't know what to do. What was that moron thinking after spending all those weeks looking at him like that? The geek should be glad that Arthur was slightly (well, maybe more than slightly, but the idiot didn't have to know that) interested in him. 

Then before Merlin decided anything, the other guy said, “Hey! Little Merlin here is talking with me now. Perhaps I'll take him home later or we can go to mine...” he suggested while wiggling his brows seductively at Merlin who was looking back at him speechless. Arthur couldn't avoid thinking that perhaps this was the first time the nerd had ever had such an effect on anyone (of course, he didn't count himself). However, he didn't lose much time contemplating that when he noticed the guy's arms were still placed around Merlin and his face was approaching dangerously the still open-mouthed nerd. The guy was really getting on his nerves and he couldn't stand it any more. He would show him who was the winner there. 

“Little Merlin here is not interested in guys like you,” Arthur protested. The dark-headed guy sent him a glare, but Arthur was unfazed. “He would rather spend the night with me. Wouldn't you, Merlin?” he asked the geek nonchalantly. Merlin looked back at him more awestruck by the moment, as if he couldn't believe what was happening to him. And Arthur didn't blame him. He bet the poor boy had never ever dreamt he could find himself in such a situation, with a pair of hot guys practically fighting over him. 

“I...” the nerd stuttered.

“C'mon.” Arthur offered his hand to him and Merlin looked at it dubiously as he bit his lower lip. His gaze went from Arthur to the other guy, whose expression was half angry half surprised at the possibility of being rejected by a total geek. Then, Merlin took his hand and Arthur felt as if he had won the battle of his life. He was the chosen one and now he was going to enjoy his prize. As Merlin and he moved away from the bar, Arthur couldn't help turning around for a brief moment to send a smug smirk back to his defeated opponent. Next, he made sure to say a quick goodbye to Gwaine who gave him a strange knowing smile before returning his attention back to the pretty brunette in his arms. 

Finally on their way out, Arthur noticed how close the nerd was walking to him, as if he didn't want to lose him in the mass of dancing people. He just glanced back reassuringly at his so desired partner for the night and then he saw it. That infuriating sweet stupid grin had returned to his face. This time, however, it didn't annoy Arthur so much as his own face mirrored a similar expression of joy and doubt and complete vertigo about what they were going to do. Hell, what were they doing? Perhaps the alcohol he had ingested had taken control over him and he was making the worst mistake ever. But the sensation of Merlin's warm hand in his and the proximity of his body as they walked towards the unknown reassured him in a strange way he had never felt before. 

As soon as they were outside the impressive fake Camelot castle, a gust of cool air made them shudder. There were barely a few people in the street who he supposed were going back home too since it was pretty late at night (or perhaps was it in the morning?). Anyway, he ignored them and tried to look as normal as possible while holding hands with a nerd out in the open. However, now that they had left behind all the noise and the festive atmosphere of the disco, nervousness took hold of Arthur and he felt like thousands of butterflies were flying in his stomach without any particular destination (or it was simply some sickness from all the beers, shots and cocktails he had drunk in the past hours, who knew...) Despite that, what Arthur did know was that he had to do something. Standing there in the middle of the street, his fingers intertwined with another guy's was already strange enough. 

He made the decision in no more than a couple of seconds. Perhaps it was the alcohol but he didn't care any more. It was time to take the bull by the horns. So, Arthur took the final step and leaped on Merlin. The kiss was sloshy but definitely not disgusting, not strange and nothing how he had pictured it. Merlin's lips were plump and wet and a bit indecisive as they moved against his own. Had the guy never kissed before? Then, the thought registered that he was kissing a boy out in the open and not any boy, but a gay nerd with a clear crush on him. He might very well hear about this tomorrow since there could be people around to know the famous Arthur Pendragon. That's why, he moved away from Merlin's mouth and decided it was time to take this (whatever it was) to another more private place, that is, before he went further than a tongueless kiss. Well, at least his hands hadn't gone lower than Merlin's waist. 

“So... Would you like to go home?” It might seem stupid, but somehow he wanted to make the point clear, in case the kiss was not proof enough he wanted more. God knew what the secluded nerd might be thinking. “Or would you rather go to mine?” Maybe he was still in time to back out and not to make the mistake of his life.

“Yes,” Merlin answered too quickly. Too enthusiastically. “I live with my uncle and I would rather...” And his hand tightened his grip as if he feared Arthur would run away and leave him there alone. Not that it hadn't crossed Arthur's mind, but now it was too late. He had made his decision and it didn't matter he had done it in the spur of the moment and with his mind too muddled to really know what he was doing. He had to be consistent. He had already weighed all his options and this was for the best. So, Arthur simply nodded and that was it. The die was cast.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!


	3. A (weird) night of (clumsy) passion

The walk back to Arthur's home was a bit blurred to him. It went as in a dream. Arthur's flat wasn't that far away but it was a good 15 minutes walk from Camelot's night club. However, the giddiness (not to say the drunkenness) hadn't abandoned his system and once away from the strobe lights and the racket in the disco, Arthur could feel its effects full force. It felt as if his head were spinning around, his body completely disconnected from his mind, free to do as it wanted. He was exactly in that moment when everything seems better, or more like perfect, when you can't stop smiling, laughing and feeling euphoric over every stupid little thing accomplished. And in this case, what Arthur had accomplished was nothing else than getting sloshed and accepting to have sex with a man. Weird. 

Merlin, for his part, was quite more sober. After all, he had only drunk a beer and a couple of sips of that awful cocktail. Nevertheless, it was obvious that he was as agitated as Arthur. Although the later was barely able to think straight at the moment, he could clearly notice how extremely nervous the boy was. How? The fact that he couldn't stop babbling about anything and everything was a great giveaway. And so, what Arthur expected to be a never-ending walk proved to be quite the contrary because, in order to cover up his uneasiness, Arthur found himself listening to the nerd and he even encouraged his soon to be lover to talk more. 

And Arthur discovered Merlin wasn't as introverted as he seemed. A couple of simple questions and the nerd had opened completely. He talked about their Maths lessons and professor Killian, his studies in Chemistry, his job at the bookshop, his uncle (Gaius? What kind of name is that?), his favourite books, his mum, his childhood in a village called Ealdor, and really all the topics he could think of. At first, Arthur thought it was too much information but he didn't have the heart to stop him and he found adorable how the geek would ramble and gesture with his hands (really, why couldn't his hands stay still?). So, Arthur just leaned on him (perhaps more than necessary but he felt a bit unstable), an arm around Merlin's shoulders, and he listened and laughed as they walked together. 

Arthur noticed he truly wanted to know more about his little cute nerd, which he supposed to be normal when planning on experimenting such an important moment with someone (isn't it?) and all those ramblings gave him the perfect opportunity to explore Merlin's personality and realize he was as endearing as he had thought. Somehow, Arthur forgot about his nervousness. Merlin was much more than he had expected him to be. He was not only a gay geek with a stupid huge crush on him but a fairly nice guy and perhaps in different circumstances they might have been good mates. 

Arthur couldn't decide whether it was too soon when suddenly they found themselves in front of his building. Perhaps he wasn't so drunk if he had been able to get them home safely. But then Merlin commented he had seen Arthur entering the building a couple of times and Gwaine had confirmed to him this was where he lived. So, yeah, the guy might be a stalker after all and undoubtedly he had been the one to take them home unharmed. 

As Arthur unlocked the door (well, it was Merlin but just because the keys refused to cooperate), the so much feared anxiety and insecurity returned. Their ride up in the lift was less animated than their previous conversation. God, he was about to do pervy things with a man! Arthur didn't know if he was going to be able to go that far or if he was going to like it or... No, he must stop thinking altogether. He had been doing that all night, even when impossibly stoned and neither the fresh air of their walk back home nor the nerd's insane prattle had dissuaded him from his intentions. Now, he had gone too far to back out. 

Once inside Arthur's not so modest flat (it practically screamed 'I'm filthy rich'), Merlin looked around curiously (and nervously) while Arthur observed him. He had already seen his flat but his current predicament was new to him. What would he do if he had brought home a girl and not Merlin (which was his original plan in the first place)? The answer was clear and maybe that was what he had to do.

Arthur didn't think it twice before he kissed Merlin a second time, or more precisely he attacked him with his lips and this time there was no mercy. He forced the boy's mouth open and explored it with his tongue. He sucked, nibbled, licked and kissed until Merlin was a mewling mess in his hands. When they finally parted for some much needed air, Arthur couldn't suppress a big smirk. This wasn't that bad, in fact, it was quite good. And God, Merlin's face as he tried to get his bearings back – his lips moist, his cheeks red, his eyes glassy... and he was the one who wasn't drunk...

As they looked at each other with a mixture of feelings that went from exhilaration to confusion, a sudden idea struck Arthur. “Do you know how to do it?” he asked. After all, he wasn't gay. He hadn't done it with a guy before and he was a bit out of sorts at the moment. So Merlin should be the one in charge. However, the boy simply blushed (Arthur had never thought it possible to become that red without being sunburned) and lowered his gaze.

“I've never done it before...” (Wait a moment, a virgin! For some reason, Arthur felt like he should have known it) “but I know how to do it and I.... have practised on myself...” Merlin added dubiously and in that moment he was so damn adorable that Arthur threw his doubts out the window and leaned down to attack the nerd's long pale provocative neck. He assaulted it conscientiously as his hands dared to leave their safe position on Merlin's hips to wander up his back and shoulders and then down to that perky round arse which his addled mind found extremely nice.

It took Arthur just a few seconds to grow bold enough to take Merlin's vest off and sneak his hands under his shirt in order to touch bare skin, as his lips left a wet trail from the geek's neck (well and some lovebites too) up to his face and lips. Then, Arthur decided it was time to leave the uncomfortable wall in front of the door to his flat and move things to his more comfortable bedroom. So he regrettably parted their lips once more and caught Merlin's smaller wandering hands in his to stop their caressing. He might seem a nerd but he hadn't lost time either since Arthur had felt firsthand those hands remove his jacket too and explore and stroke his upperbody above his t-shirt. 

Arthur allowed himself a moment to regain his breath and contemplate an uninhibited Merlin. Then he just could say a word, 'Bed' and his partner for the night just nodded like an eager puppy. More reassured now, Arthur guided Merlin to his spacious bedroom. As it suited a Pendragon, it was well-decorated and, of course, a king size bed presided it. Obviously, they directed their steps towards the bed, their hands still joined, but once there, insecurity resurfaced again. What to do now? They looked at each other, still half dressed. The obvious step to take was to remedy that and so Arthur did. He let go of Merlin's hand and took his t-shirt off. The nerd looked at him with big round eyes from behind his glasses, biting his lower lip unconsciously. God, that was so sexy!

Arthur, for his part, stood there waiting for Merlin to react. It wasn't until Arthur cleared his throat that the nerd took the hint. When Merlin finally caught up, he unbuttoned his shirt and discarded it too. A new round of heated starring at each other occurred. Merlin continued admiring Arthur's defined abs (which he surely had wished for so long) while Arthur... Well, Arthur observed Merlin really wasn't a girl. That is, he didn't have boobs and for a moment that confused him. But on second thoughts, that didn't have to be a bad thing (did it?). After all, Merlin did have nipples, so Arthur decided to try it anyway. 

Still a bit unsteady but more sober than before, Arthur approached the nerd and without a by your leave, he pinched one of his nipples. When an involuntary moan escaped Merlin's lips, Arthur went for it. He leaned down and nibbled and liked the sweet nub in his mouth while Merlin played with the strands of his golden hair. More confident now, Arthur's hands descended towards that arse he had found so interesting a few minutes ago. He stroked it with great pleasure and for an instant he was about to go for the zip and take those damned annoying trousers down when a disturbing idea came to his mind. No boobs was something he apparently could handle rather well but a cock...

Arthur stopped his ministrations with a frown painted on his face as he leaned away from Merlin and looked down at the nerd's crotch. There was a small bulge there, matching the one in his trousers. He had got on the mood really quickly but now for the first time since all this craziness started, Arthur gave himself time to consider what the heck was he going to do with that part of the geek. A new wave of apprehension assaulted him. What did he expect? This guy (however cute he might be) was a man after all. Of course he had a cock.

In a bit of a panic, Arthur released Merlin from his loose embrace and took a couple of steps back until the back of his legs touched the edge of the bed. He slumped onto it and took a couple of quick breaths. In his new sitting position he tried to calm himself and ponder his options as he observed a still standing and very confused Merlin. Although Arthur wasn't ready do admit it (even to himself), he might be a little afraid (of a cock!) at the moment. But when he looked up at the nerd's lovely face, when he contemplated the adoration the boy radiated, when he thought about what the nerd had done to get to him... Well, the desire for him was still obviously there. Did that mean it was alright to go ahead?

Then, Merlin made the decision for the both of them. He sent Arthur a lovely trusting smile and knelt in front of him. In that moment, Arthur felt like he couldn't move, completely paralyzed at the mercy of his nerd, who with trembling hands unbuttoned and unzipped his jeans before lowering them a bit along with his posh pants to sprang free his erection. Yep, incredibly Arthur was still rock hard, despite all his insecurities. Merlin was a guy (that had already been cleared up) and yet he was looking at his cock with such an amazed hungry gaze as he bit his lower lip shyly that Arthur couldn't help but groan in anticipation. 

And so, Arthur's past worries evaporated once more when Merlin slowly and hesitantly bowed his head and tried to take as much of his length in his mouth, stroking the rest of it with a trembling hand. Of course, Arthur shuddered as soon as that hot cavern enveloped him and started to suck in earnest, bobbing up and down. It was obvious since the first second that the boy had no great technique (because really, what kind of blow job was that when he didn't even licked or kissed his prick a bit before engulfing it), but then Merlin looked up at him from under those impossibly long eyelashes (and those cute glasses) with so much devotion that the experience intensified by a tenfold and the fact that it was a guy who was sucking him off didn't matter any more. 

In fact, just thinking that it was his stalker, his nerd, his Merlin, who had his lips wrapped tightly around his cock, gagging around it as he tried desperately to pleasure him at all costs, (when it was painfully obvious he didn't know exactly how to do it) aroused him even more than that delicious mouth. To Arthur, it seemed the most obscene thing he had ever done in all his life (and he had done quite a lot of pervy things with his exs...) but nothing of that could compare to this. Perhaps, it was his still fuzzy mind or it was the heat of the moment, but right then and there he decided he wanted more. So his hands, which till the moment had been resting on the bed as he observed the fascinating sight in front of him, got into action and went to stop Merlin's head, still working on his hard on. 

A bit regretfully Merlin let his cock go with a wet pop and peered up at him with something akin fear. His expressive face said it all. He really was an open book. It was so evident how much he feared displeasing him, how much he dreaded doing something that would make Arthur change his mind and send him away. For him, this was his opportunity to make his dream come true, to have with Arthur something more than the bashful glances he had been sending him those last few months. It was clear he would go as far as he had to keep Arthur by his side. And that was all Arthur needed to get his courage and dare do what he never thought he would. 

Arthur's hands moved from the strands of Merlin's dark hair to cup those lovely sharp cheekbones, preventing the nerd from looking away from his determined gaze. Although he had already made the decision, Arthur found himself stuttering when he stared at the boy directly in the eyes and said, “I want more... that is...I heard gays... you know... your arse...”

Merlin's eyes opened wide as he understood what Arthur wanted. “You want to... go all the way?” the nerd asked very nervously, his voice faltering a little, as his hands joined Arthur's and brought them from Merlin's face to Arthur's lap, where they rested intertwined. 

“If it's alright with you...” Arthur answered insecurely. He didn't want to force the nerd (the situation was weird enough as it was) but he was afraid he would never be brave enough to do something like that as he was in the moment and somehow he knew he would regret if he didn't. 

Merlin, however, didn't doubt it very much. In a second he was nodding eagerly like a pleased puppy, as he breathed a grateful 'yes'. His bright smile was so contagious that Arthur found himself grinning like a loon when Merlin leaned up, all his shyness forgotten, and planted a passionate kiss in Arthur's mouth. Arthur's response was the only possible one. He kissed him back, licking those sweet plump lips, nibbling and even sucking at them as his arms found their way around the boy's back to help him up and onto the bed, where they made themselves comfortable to kiss more lazily. 

It didn't take them much time for their hands to restart their wandering over the other's body. Arthur was still a bit freaked out for not finding the usual appendages in his bed partner, but he overlooked it easily thanks to the marvelous sounds Merlin uttered with each of his caresses. Encouraged, Arthur pinched his nipples again before his hands went down to sneak inside Merlin's pants to feel his arse while he enjoyed Merlin's soft hands on his body. 

Unconsciously, Arthur grabbed both of Merlin's arse cheeks tightly and brought the boy closer to him so that he could rub his cock against the rough fabric of Merlin's trousers. Merlin's bulge seemed to have grown bigger but this time Arthur didn't find it in himself to care at all. And when Merlin's wrapped a hand around his erection and started to stroke it again, Arthur thought he was in heaven itself. However, it was his own need that made him move away from Merlin's exquisite tongue, which at the moment was battling (and losing spectacularly) with his. Arthur had to remind himself he wanted more than coming shamefully soon by a guy's hand around his prick. 

Their gazes stayed locked for a couple of seconds, Merlin's still looking a bit fearful but extremely cute with his tousled hair, his swollen lips, his rosy cheeks and his glasses perched on his nose in a weird angle. Arthur straightened them in a tender gesture as he gathered up his nerve to glance down at Merlin's clothed crotch and asked intelligently, “Could you...?”

Thankfully, this time Merlin caught up soon enough and he took matters into his own hands, conscious of how uncomfortable were certain things for Arthur. So Merlin stood up to undo his trousers and kick out his shoes, Arthur observing all his movements from the bed. In no time, he pulled down his trousers and underpants and stood naked in all his glory in front of an amazed Arthur. Of course, he had seen other men like that before (he had showered in changing rooms since he was old enough to do sport) but that couldn't compare to this. All those times they were his mates from the team or the gym, they didn't care at all about their nakedness and they certainly weren't about to do wicked things to one another. 

Merlin seemed a bit awkward and he tried to cover his erection from Arthur's prying eyes while once more bitting shyly his lower lip. Arthur just gulped down, still not sure what he was getting himself into. But now it was too late to stop. “No,” Arthur commanded more confident than he really felt. “I want to see you...” And Merlin moved away his hands so that Arthur could fix his gaze on his hard cock, thinner and smaller than his, but a cock nonetheless. Arthur didn't allow himself to think more about it and let his eyes wander over the rest of the geek's pale body. He was skinny (Arthur could see some protruding ribs and wondered if the nerd eat at all) but it wasn't unpleasant. He didn't have defined muscles like Arthur, but his body was well formed and proportioned and somehow Arthur could only find a word to describe it – beautiful. 

Then Merlin speaking bring Arthur out of his reverie. “I need... mmm...” he was saying dubiously. “Do you have.... something...” Arthur's mind seemed too slow at the moment to understand what the boy wanted, forcing the nerd to say the embarrassing words, “...some lube... to ease...”

“Oh,” that was all Arthur was able to say for a few seconds before he pointed to his bedside table and answered, “You can find some lube and condoms in the top drawer.” Then he added lamely, “I have them just in case...” It was just a reflex reaction since he was single at the moment and had no obligation towards Merlin. Nevertheless, his chest felt warmer when Merlin smiled at him after his justification, clearly pleased that Arthur wasn't seeing someone right then.

For a few minutes, Arthur simply watched Merlin's as he readied himself. He got the lube from the drawer and opened the tube with shaky hands. Not looking back at Arthur, he applied some to his fingers before leaving the lube on the bedside table. Then, he brought his hand back to his arse. Arthur couldn't see what he was doing but the movements of his arm were explicit enough. Unwittingly, Arthur started to stroke his own cock lazily while enjoying the view Merlin made. Some moans and groans escaped both their lips as they pleasured themselves, but Merlin wasn't able to look at Arthur the whole time. 

Suddenly, Merlin stopped his ministrations and finally raised his eyes to stare at Arthur. The need he exuded was unmistakable as he took in Arthur's wanking. His cheeks coloured some more as he retrieved a condom from the open drawer and tore the wrapping open clumsily (making it even more obvious that he hadn't done that before). Next, Merlin joined him in the bed, kneeling beside him and trying to put the condom on his cock. Thankfully, Arthur took pity on him and helped him to do it correctly (basically because Arthur was at his wits' end by now and it could have taken Merlin a good half an hour and several condoms to do it right).

With the condom in place and Merlin prepared, a new awkward moment occurred. Neither of them was sure how to proceed now when it was clear what they needed to do. Arthur took the easy way out and hugged Merlin against him, making the boy lay down on the bed comfortably, as he turned to the safe wet kisses. That was something they had done before and Arthur had found both pleasurable and not very disconcerting (so they were back on known ground). Arthur also made sure Merlin's cock didn't touch his as the nerd rubbed himself against Arthur's jeans (thanks God, he hadn't taken them down yet since he didn't know if he was prepared to handle that) as he rubbed himself (condom and all) against Merlin's bare hip. 

The friction was so delicious, their caresses so heavenly, their kisses so sweet, that Arthur finally gave in. Doubts be damned, he didn't care anymore. He parted their lips and admired his lover's body as he regained some of his lost bearings. He gulped down once more and went for it. Very slowly he parted Merlin's legs and positioned himself between them. Now, he had a perfect view of the boy's hard cock twitching with need against his belly and that small pink hole that seemed so inviting... Arthur merely gave himself a few seconds to take down his trousers a bit more before taking his cock in hand and directing it to Merlin's arse.

Afraid of hurting Merlin and still a little insecure, Arthur entered Merlin very slowly. When Merlin's breath hitched Arthur stopped completely, halfway in. He looked up at Merlin's face and found him with his eyes closed, his expression a mixture of pain and ecstasy. He waited until the boy opened his eyes and nodded at him bashfully. Then, Arthur pushed again and didn't stop until his cock was completely buried in. His hands intertwined with Merlin's as he gave him some seconds to get used to the intrusion while he tried to keep himself from coming right there. Gods, Merlin was so tight... Arthur had never felt something like this. 

Their ragged breathing started to normalize as their eyes roamed each other's body and more than often fixed themselves in the exact point where they joined. But that didn't last long. When Merlin bucked against Arthur, he couldn't delay it any more. Arthur withdrew and thrust back in. The first time he did it more slowly, but then he picked up his pace and soon he was all but slamming himself into Merlin. Too intoxicated by all the sensations, Arthur leaned down and resumed their forgotten kissing. This time he didn't give a damn when Merlin's cock brushed against his bare stomach. In fact, the moans that elicited from Merlin were more than enough to provoke him more and their kisses and caresses turned more needy and desperate, his thrusts quicker if that was even possible.

When Arthur's mouth left the solace of Merlin's lips to nibble and suck at his neck and collarbones, Merlin found himself free to whisper encouraging words. “Ar...thur... Arthur... Please... More... Please...” he repeated as his hands stroked Arthur's back and his legs sneaked around Arthur's hips, all in an attempt to bring them closer, to make Arthur's cock go deeper and brush that part inside him that make him forget the whole world. But then he also added, “Please... touch... touch me...”

Arthur just needed a second to register the meaning of his pleading and another to overcome all his fears. One of his hands left its position at Merlin's waist to wrap itself around the nerd's throbbing cock. Even in his high state, Arthur could notice how different it was from his, in weight and shape. His first impression was that it was all wrong but then he felt that it wasn't a bad kind of wrong but a right one. However, as he wasn't used to wank someone while fucking, it took him several attempts so he could coordinate his stroking with his thrusts.

Then it was all a matter of a few minutes. As his pleasure escalated, his jerking movements became more strenuous until something sticky and hot splashed into his belly and hand while Merlin moaned wantonly and his hole clenched around his length. That brought Arthur over the edge and in no time he was coming too with so much pleasure that all kind of coherent thought abandoned him. Later he would think it was the most mind blowing experience he had ever had in all his life but for the moment he simply couldn't know what he was doing. Did he stop his ministrations to Merlin's sated cock? Did he keep pumping his hips until he released the last of his need into the condom? Or did he stay completely still until the pleasure passed and he slumped onto Merlin? 

Arthur didn't know any more, but that was how he found himself when he regained conscience, lying on top of Merlin, almost crushing the nerd with his weight. Thankfully, Merlin was too far gone to complain but he did whine a little when Arthur rolled around a bit to give himself some space to take off the condom and toss it to the ground after tying it. Arthur felt exceedingly tired but there was still something he wanted to do before drifting off to sleep. He lifted his hands and with as much delicacy as he could muster he took Merlin's big glasses off and left them on the bedside table. 

When Arthur turned around he let himself enjoy the cute face those damned glasses hid. The word 'beautiful' crossed his mind again as Merlin smiled at him innocently (even after all they had done!) and nibbled at his lower lip a bit insecurely as he made to get closer to him. Arthur chuckled contentedly at his unexpected lover's adorable shyness and wrapped his arms around his thin frame, allowing the nerd to snuggle up to him. When sleep took them, they were cuddling lovingly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!


	4. The first morning of the rest of their lives

Arthur opened his eyes lazily. Morning had arrived relentlessly and the sun was sent as his minion to wake him up horribly with those extremely shiny beams of light flooding in from the window. Arthur groaned. His head seemed to be still far away, his brain swimming inside his skull. He was sure he had a horrible morning breath. He wished for sleep to take him again away from the pain of the hangover when he felt something beside him or more precisely someone snuggling closer to him. Had he got laid last night?

Arthur didn't dare turn around and look at his bed partner for a few seconds, afraid of what he might find, but those lanky arms around him told him this was real enough. He finally manned up and turned his head slowly not to wake them (or maybe scare them away?). What he found left him breathless. Merlin, the nerd, his stalker from his Maths class was there with him. In his bed. His head but a couple of centimeters from his, a happy contented smile painted on his lips. And, yeah, this time Arthur dared to lift the sheets slightly and peek under them to discover both of them were NAKED! Oh God!

Obviously, he did the only thing his confused mind let him do. He sat up alarmed (practically pushing the poor sleeping geek away from him) and breathed a loud and hoarse, 'Fuck!' And that was his undoing because any possible moment he could have had to think alone before facing Merlin was gone as soon as the nerdy boy was awoken abruptly by his indelicate push and his too loud swearing.

Arthur remained very still, his eyes open wide and still fixed on Merlin as the nerd blinked blearily a couple of times before he finally directed his oh so blue glassless gaze to Arthur. Images of last night started to flash in Arthur's traitorous mind, from sweet kisses and roaming hands to shy blowjobs and blinding pleasure. The fact that he tried to avoid Merlin's eyes and looked around his room just to discover their discarded clothes and an used condom on the floor didn't improve the situation either. Actually, just thinking about what the heck all that was only helped to increase his already splitting hangover. 

Then Merlin did the worst possible thing. Instead of reading Arthur's shocked face and leaving him to comprehend his current predicament, he smiled blindly (that is easy if you aren't hungover) and leaned up to plant a sweet chaste kiss in the corner of Arthur's mouth, accompanied by a cheerful whispered, 'Good morning, Arthur!' His arms sneaked around Arthur's waist to hug him once more as he rested his head on Arthur's shoulder. That brought Arthur back from the far land of 'freaking out as you remember what you did while drunk' and startled him more than anything. How could they be so lovey-dovey in the morning after their first… Oh God, what was happening there? 

In that moment, panic took control over Arthur and, headache forgotten, he shoved Merlin away unceremoniously and jumped up from the bed shouting, “Stay away from me, you freak!”

Arthur's ragged breaths increased when he noticed he was very much naked (not to mention that he had just realized he was rather sticky, but he preferred not to think about it right now, thank you very much, he was already far too shaken up) in front of his stalker, the guy that had made him try those kinds of things... Without thinking, Arthur took the first thing at hand to cover himself up – the bedsheets. And it wasn't until he had them wrapped securely around his waist and covering his (more precious) parts that he noticed now the one naked was the nerd on his bed. 

Arthur couldn't avoid looking at him, at his unblemished pale skin, his lean body, his face... but then he wished he hadn't looked at all. And it wasn't because he found his nakedness disturbingly alluring (even when he wasn't drunk anymore) and anyway, now he could remember the previous night (although a bit blurringly), he had already seen and touched all there was too see and touch. No, it was the expression in that sweet face. That damn pained expression. The way the nerd was looking up at him with utter shock and... sadness, not even bothering to try to cover himself up. 

“Out!” Arthur whispered because he couldn't bear it. Because if he continued staring at Merlin, he might very well do something he wasn't sure he was prepared for, something like hugging and kissing away his nerd's dejected expression (What? Was that what he really wanted?!). So he opted for the easiest solution. “I want you out of my flat,” he said seriously. “I'll give you five minutes while I shower and when I come out of the bathroom I don't want to see you here.” Merlin didn't move as he looked with confusion at Arthur's retreating back. That certainly wasn't what the poor geek expected after last night, but Arthur didn't give a damn at the moment.

He slammed the bathroom's door shut and went directly to the washbasin. Mechanically, he splashed his face with cold water and then he looked at his reflection in the mirror. Apart from the obvious hangover and lack of sleep his face showed, he didn't seem any different but oh he was. He had …. he had... fucked a man. And not any man. A nerd. The same nerd that had spent the last months staring at him, following him and flirting with him. The same nerd he had tried so hard to escape from, to avoid, to forget. And now he was just there in his bedroom, in his bed after a night of passion... Arthur shook his head frantically, what was he going to do?

He was cracking up more and more by the minute... He took a couple of deep breaths in order to calm himself and forced his mind to think more clearly. He had had sex with a man... and what? Surely that didn't mean he was gay... He couldn't be gay. He hadn't liked it at all... It had been strange and... and amazing... Arggg... Arthur sighed. He had to admit it, at least to himself. Despite the awkwardness, there had been something more, a spark of something different, something that made his heart flutter... But no, he couldn't be gay, after all his relationships with girls. He liked girls and Merlin... Sweet geeky Merlin... No, he couldn't like Merlin. He couldn't feel something for him just because he did some pervy things with the guy... It wasn't logical and... No, Arthur Pendragon couldn't be gay. There was no way.

In an attempt to clear his messed up thoughts and to stop himself from screaming like a true mad man, he unwrapped the sheet from around his waist and entered the shower. Warm water cascaded down his skin and cleaned from his body the last evidences of his night with Merlin. However, his mind keep repeating the same words, 'I'm not gay. It can't be... I can't be gay... I...' He thought of his strict father's scolding face, the cruel laugh of some of his most bitchy ex girlfriends, the disapproving look of his friends and classmates... What would they think of him? What would all those people that looked up to him as the perfect guy think of him if they knew that not only he had gone to bed with a nerdy guy but that he... he had enjoyed it? The famous Arthur Pendragon might... he might have feelings for a gay stalkerish geek... Now, he was really doomed.

His mind wandered back to the nerd out that door. The noise of the water didn't allow him to hear anything but it was likely that Merlin was already gone by then. Arthur had certainly taken his sweet time to panic but at the moment he hadn't felt like facing Merlin. Perhaps throwing Merlin out had been a bit drastic but it had bought him time to have his little break down alone and now it would be at least some days before he would have to see the nerd. Yeah, that was it. That would give him enough time to mull over his confused feelings and decide what he wanted to do with them, or even better, he could be lucky enough not to ever have to see Merlin again and avoid the situation altogether. You know, 'out of sight, out of mind'. Arthur groaned. He wouldn't be that lucky. But at least he felt more relaxed now. 

As he got out of the shower and dried himself with a clean towel, a plan formed in his head. A plan that involved strong coffee, some painkillers for his hangover and giving himself some time (or maybe an eternity, although he was afraid that wouldn't be enough) to seriously think about his life, his priorities and his feelings for a certain cute nerd. However, he suddenly stopped himself when his hand touched the door handle, afraid that Merlin could still be there, but soon he dismissed the idea as impossible. After all, he had given the nerd more than the promised 5 minutes and he would really be an idiot if he had stayed after what Arthur had said. So, he opened the door ready to find a room with no Merlin... to be completely wrong. 

Yep, there he was. Merlin, already dressed, his glasses even in their right place, sitting on Arthur's unmade bed, as if he were waiting for him patiently. That was Arthur's undoing, his intentions of considering everything more calmly and then come to a wise decision quickly forgotten. This wasn't what he had planned. He wasn't ready. He had told the nerd to go, he had given him enough time to flee his flat and yet he had had the gall not only to stay but also, as soon as he saw Arthur out of the bathroom, he got up and stepped towards him.

“Arthur... I...” That was all Merlin got to say before Arthur exploded. His fear of his own feelings taking hold of him once more when facing such a complicated situation.

“Just shut up! I told you to leave! I don't want to know anything else about you! This was just a mistake! I was drunk and you were just fucking persistent. You were just a pity fuck but nothing like this is ever going to happen again. Do you understand?” Of course, Arthur didn't give Merlin time to answer. He was too far gone in his own despair and insecurity. “Now, go!”

Unfortunately, once more Merlin didn't pay heed to his warning. Perhaps it was out of shock or maybe because he was trying to contain the sobs that were about to bubble up from his throat, but Merlin simply stayed there, trembling slightly after hearing what Arthur had just said. And then the nerd shouted back at him, “You're an utter prat, Arthur Pendragon. I don't understand how I have been able to fall in love with you. Why does it have to be you?”

When the first furious tear appeared in Merlin's eyes, something shattered inside Arthur, making him question his stupid indecision, his irrational fear of something that deep down he longed for more than anything. Merlin was just looking at him with something akin sadness and disappointment (which somehow was far worse than anger or resentment), he was staring at him as if Arthur had let him down in the most horrible way and he could only curse himself for making such a beautiful creature cry. His past anger and doubts all but forgotten, the only think in Arthur's mind was, 'What have I done?' 

Then Merlin made to leave for the door and possibly out of his life forever. Arthur was about to see his last night wishes finally come true and yet he couldn't let that happen. That night had changed everything, but in a completely different way that he hadn't even thought possible. Now, he could see it clearly. He had never been so nervous with anyone. It had never felt so good or so true with anyone. And no one had ever looked at him like that, as if he was the most important person in the world. Most people only cared about his family name, his money, his connections or his appearance and, although he had a few really good friends, Merlin was a completely different story.

From the way he had flirted with him so innocently to his insane prattle last night, from his beautiful blue eyes to his delicious sweet mouth, Merlin clearly meant to him more than a mere friend could ever mean. Arthur did feel a connection with the geek and it had been just his cowardice about what people would think, about how different it would be that had prevented him from embracing his feelings and dare try to be with Merlin. 

Truth be granted, there was no guarantee of happiness (his father wouldn't approve of him being with a man so easily) but Arthur felt something, kind of a flutter in his chest that he had never felt before for anyone, not even Gwen or Mithian for whom he had cared a great deal (and who he still love as good friends). That sense of protectiveness, that pull he had felt towards Merlin since the first time he had sensed his eyes on him... No matter how much he had tried to avoid the nerd, to forget him, destiny seemed to want them together, and what happened last night, as much as it had scared Arthur, had also shown him how good they could be together. 

And now, he was about to lose the best thing that he would probably have in his life. Arthur prayed it wasn't too late. Everything be damned, he followed Merlin out of his room and into the corridor, cutting his way before he could reach the main door. Merlin's reaction, however, wasn't what he had expected since he turned around as soon as Arthur stood in front of him, clearly not wishing to look at him anymore. That hurt and, even though he knew he deserved it, Arthur wasn't going to give up.

“Sorry,” Arthur mumbled a bit uncertainly but it seemed Merlin was able to hear his barely whispered apology. He turned around while trying to wipe away with his hands the remaining evidence of his weeping from his eyes and cheeks. However, neither his efforts nor his glasses were able to hide completely the tracks of his tears and the redness of his eyes. But there was something more on his pretty face, there was a small spark of something that resembled very much hope. Even after how rude and disagreeable Arthur had been to him, Merlin was still willing to hear him out (dare Arthur hope even to forgive him?). It was really a promising start and Arthur's heart soared with happiness: No one had ever trusted him so much. 

Before knowing what he was doing, Arthur was confessing everything he felt to the nerd, “I quite liked it... I liked it a lot. And I think... I may like you... I... I'm confused, I have never... I've never thought, I... and another guy... but then you...” he wasn't very coherent at the moment. 

It would be no surprise if Merlin wasn't understanding anything of what he was trying to say but Arthur still had his attention and he was determined to make the most of it. That's why he took a deep breath and closed his eyes for a second to try to clear up his thoughts enough for him to be able to say a complete phrase with sense. After all, he had already wrapped his mind around the fact that yeah, he had more than probably fallen in love with his cute nerdy stalker (because, let's be truthful, he had basked in his gaze even if he hadn't wanted to admit it, he hadn't been able to keep his eyes off of him the previous night and then there was the blatant evidence that they were compatible and not only in bed). That being established, there was only one think to do.

So, when he opened his eyes, Arthur said, “I think I've fallen for you.” This phrase did have sense, apparently the sense Merlin had been waiting for because he launched himself on Arthur and hugged him against himself, burying his face in Arthur's neck. 

“I love you,” Merlin confessed back, “I can't explain how it has happened... but since the first time I saw you, I knew we were made for each other.” 

And that sounded incredibly cheesy but Arthur didn't even dare to chuckle at the moment. He felt so complete, so right, just there with Merlin's arms wrapped around him, that he said it without thinking, “I think... me too, I... want to give us a try.” 

Merlin exhaled a contented sigh against the soft skin of his neck and then he was hugging him more tightly if that was even possible. Arthur, for his part, finally reacted and embraced Merlin's thin form against his chest, resting his face in Merlin's silky black hair. 

“You would never regret this, Arthur,” Merlin promised. “You'll see...” And for some strange reason Arthur couldn't help but to believe him. There was still the innate fear of being rejected by his father, of receiving a bad reaction from his friends. He wasn't 100% sure he would be able to overcome all his worries and let himself be happy with Merlin. But as for now, he had Merlin with him and that was enough. There would be time to work on all those things and the best way was taking each step at a time, little by little. Something inside him (and not just Merlin) told him this was going to be alright. 

Then, Merlin planted a kiss on his neck and leaned away to look at with such an open expression that Arthur couldn't help himself and chuckled cockily in order to alleviate the past tension (because, really, how soppy could two guys get... It must be Merlin's fault, undoubtedly...)

Merlin's response was quite unexpected too. He raised an eyebrow in quite a spectacular way (where could he have learned such a thing?) and looked at him dubiously as if he expected Arthur to still be able to throw him away among peels of cruel laughter. Nevertheless, Arthur's humour couldn't be abated, not even by that cute worried expression. He felt as if he had taken a load of his mind, as if he was finally free. 

“And so that you now, I'm not gay!” Arthur affirmed cheekily. “It's just you.” Merlin's frown morphed into a cute happy smile that Arthur got to erase quickly with a passionate kiss. The first of many more. 

And so Arthur always said that he wasn't gay, even after they shared passionate encounters, or when he finally introduced Merlin as his boyfriend to his friends and family (included his father Uther, but that would be a completely different story), or even the day they married. But, of course, you can't blame Arthur when in a certain way it was true and, anyway, 'gay' is only a word people gives a determinate meaning. The important thing is that Arthur never felt attracted to other men and, after being with Merlin, either to other women. Merlin was all he needed in his life and being in denial about his sexual orientation was just a stupid joke when he had the rest of his life to show that the truth was that as much as Merlin was his, he was all Merlin's.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!


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